Pushing through the inevitable

I didn't get a chance to complete the 30-day challenge with It Works® since I was still financially struggling to keep up with bills and living expenses. 

I didn't give up on my well-being. I have lessened my consumption of tomatoes, garlic, processed sugar and canned goods.

My weight has plateaud at 130 lbs. Even though my doctor isn't happy that I am still overweight, she has no complaints about my eating habits. 

My depression has been manageable for 2 decades now. The Mirtazapine has helped me balance my serotonin levels. 

I do suffer panic attacks once in a while. I have noticed it wasn't as often as it used to.

Every great once in a while, interacting with difficult people can send me back from the beginning. It may take me several days to get back up on my feet to move forward. 

Interacting with people is inevitable. It can be very stressful at times. More often than not, it can be detrimental to my well-being. 

To pique your curiosity, here is an epilogue of where I used to be:

After living with my parents for 20 years, I was always on high alert. The only reason why I enlisted in the Air Force was to learn how to control my anger and the violence that runs in my soul. In that 4 years of service, I learned a great deal about people. There are certain types of individuals who have bought into their own reality (whatever that reality might be - take J.K Rowling as an example), that they are blind to factual information. They will do everything in their power to make you seem delusional, insignificant and a waste of flesh and air. These people are everywhere. I had drawn to the conclusion that if I had the power of Death, I will see to it that they cease to exist from the universe. Even if that means draining their energy from their life into mine.

Then, there are people like my current husband, who gives people the benefit of the doubt. I don't deserve to be with them because they're too good to be true. There are instances where they remind me of who I used to be - the child who loved and cared so much. 15 years of his love, patience and compassion has stilled the violence from the fibers of my being.

It pains me every time whenever an individual decides to reflect their preconceived notions about me.

It's unfair to me and my husband that we have to go through this process of who gets to live or die scenario, time and time again. He doesn't like dancing. I will always be alone dancing with my old self to contemplate whether all this self-healing and self-care are worth the effort. 

Even now, just writing this blog has proven that my existence doesn't matter to the world. I only matter to the ones who see me and accept me for who I am.

To whoever reads this, I hope my words have brought encouragement and inspiration to you. To find the people who love and accept you for who you are. The world is damned with so many self-centered, greedy, and powerful pious people who will ensure your individuality is non-existent. Be careful out there. Live long and prosper.

It Works!® Week 2: Slow and steady

I know it takes a lot of patience to reach the goals one has set for better health and living. I am aware of all the conditions. Nevertheless, I have to continue pressing on.

There are times when things don't work out. I injured my wrist last weekend during my Yoga sessions with Adrien. I was out of exercise for 2 days. Even so, I was able to weigh myself and got down to 126 lbs.

All in all, it's good news. I think I will start updating every 2 weeks instead of weekly. That way, I'm not boring you with little to no details. This is one of the shortest blogs I've ever written.

Thanks for still being here, listening.

It Works!® Week 1: Keto Coffee and Super Greens

I was introduced to this product about 3 years ago. I wasn't financially stable then. I have been doing my best to follow through with my Life Choice program. It does work - slowly but surely. It has better results when I exercise. Even during my state of depression, I was able to lose 10 lbs. I went from a 140 lbs to 130 lbs weight loss commitment. Mind you, I started this program since 2012. Dr Ornish was very direct when he stated that it's not for everyone.

Since March 18, we were not able to go anywhere; let alone - to the gym. I live in a very small apartment. There wasn't much space to go around and "exercise." My husband and I finally agreed to have our own space to workout. I have rearranged my office space to where I can make all the "noise" I want without interrupting his peace.

I actually started yoga on the 1st week of March. The reasons why I was reluctant to commit to this method of exercise was because, I thought it would aggravate my rheumatoid arthritis all the more. After doing a lot of research, and watching a video of an elderly 90 year old hunchback lady, I was convinced. If Yoga can help her walk upright and not suffer anymore pain from arthritis, it's got to work for me too. I've been in physical therapy since 2004. Stretching has helped relieved some of my pain during the summer. It doesn't help when winter comes. After watching what Yoga can do, I wouldn't mind the extra vigor stretching that Yoga offers.

So far, it's been quite challenging getting the Yoga poses down pat. The wonderful thing is, I can always replay the video tutorials again.

I was recommended the Keto Coffee bundle because of my allergy to Chromium. It's actually delicious. I just discovered on Monday (5/18/20) that Guava juice mixes well with the Super Greens supplement drink. It does have an acquired taste because of the celery in it. My husband described the after taste as 'grass clippings.' 😂

The week has come to provide you an update. I've been surfing the 130 lbs for quite a while since my last update in February, weighing at 124 lbs.

Don't mind the facial expression. I was just frustrated with the camera lighting and the location of the view finder on my phone. Taken on May 15, 2020.

My body processes food differently. That is one of the reasons why I went along with the Life Choice Program. The schedule is on my terms instead of following through a rigorous schedule. How did I survive Basic Training, you ask? I ate very little during breakfast time. They couldn't expect me to finish a full meal within 15 minutes before physical exercises. My body will reject the food. They never asked me again when I retched in front of them during Physical Training. My Basic Training breakfast consisted of 2 eggs, 2 bacon strips, a buttered toast and a glass of orange juice. I remember my Training Instructor looking at me pitifully because he had never seen anyone eat so little. He expected my breakfast to have sausages, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, fruit salad, and 2 glasses of orange juice.

It wasn't until I was assigned to my permanent assignment where I was able to have a full breakfast. Our Operational Air Force Physical Training started at 10:00 am versus 6:00 am. My body was able to completely digest all the food before a physical exercise.

It has been a fulfilling week. Even though I weighed myself on Tuesday afternoon, being at a 128 lbs since I started using this product, having to lose 2 lbs within 5 days is quite a breakthrough.

This morning was a relief. I weighed in at 127.5 lbs! I'm really happy where this is going. This was me right after Yoga.

We'll see how the next week goes...