A Brewing Storm

Tracking my calories is not something I usually do. One would think someone in the family should have done so, since my parents were diagnosed with high-blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes in their early 30’s. My mother loved her chocolates, while my father enjoyed having gourmet meals. Between the two of them, nothing was compromised.

By the time I had my own family, I rarely added any salt or sugar to the food considering the packaged ingredients already have them. Unlike the food sold in the U.K. and Asia, America’s market produces are high on salt and sugar. The American people wonder why they are obese, especially their children, who are also suffering adult-like symptoms of heart disease, diabetes and high-blood pressure.

The one thing my parents taught me that I still hold dear to my heart is to be grateful for what I have. I never gave indulgence another thought. If I can’t afford it, I don’t buy it. 

Here’s one thing I learned from school: Rice becomes sugar once the body processes it into energy. I’ve always made sure I balance my meal with the right amount of meat and vegetables. When I came to America with my family in 1999, all the serving sizes were enough to feed us. I remember my father’s exasperation when we dined at Fuddrucker’s. My father was not big on take out meals, but after seeing how much food was left over, he had no other choice but to take it home and eat it the next day. He never ordered a large meal from them again. We do our best not to waste food.

I thought I was doing great until I was diagnosed with high-cholesterol at 27. My primary care provider asked how my eating habits were like. I would drink cold water from the Pūr water filter faucet system whenever I feel hot. There are occasional binges of Coke and Sweet Tea (I am in the Southern-East part of America) whenever I dine out for lunch or dinner. I would drink tea from time to time, especially in the morning and high noon. I even demonstrated to her using my palm to display how much rice I ate for lunch and dinner. I told her I would either have beef or chicken with vegetables to go along with it too. In addition to that, I showed her how much pasta I ate too. Considering I work early in the morning, I rarely had time to take breakfast.

After telling her my situation at home and at work, she concluded that I do my best to eat as much as 1 cup each meal. She also told me to bring breakfast with me to work; whether it is a cup of yogurt, a fruit or a morning instant meal. 

Yes, I am aware that breakfast is important. I remember growing up to having omelet, chocolate malt (Milo), and bacon every morning before I went to school. Sometimes it was oats, bacon, malt (Horlicks) and a soft boiled egg. Other times, it was French toast, hot dogs, spam, rice, eggs and tea. That may sound a lot, but the portions where I grew up are much smaller than it is compared to the portions here in America.

Everything here in America is “Now, Now, Now” and “Bigger is better”. Managing my time was not something I do on a regular basis. You’d think someone who was trained in the military would have kept up. I can get by in a fast-pace environment, but not enough to stay in it for very long. That doesn’t mean I always miss a deadline. It was one of the reasons why I joined the military in the first place. I’ve learned that they may want things done quickly, but they want it done right. That was what I was good at. Doing things right.

After I left the military, it was difficult to get used to not waking up early and start the day with a 20-minute exercise. I did not have the luxury to visit the gym until I started working at Cisco. Even then, my lifestyle of skipping breakfast, skipping lunch or dinner after a snack or going to bed hungry was still just as bad. The stress at home and at work took a toll on my health too. There really aren’t any dietary plans for people who work during the graveyard shift or the early morning shift for that matter.

Since my divorce, I had to rewind my life to living single and taking good care of my health. Until my best friend's marriage proposal 2 years later, everything changed. I started cooking and eating healthy again. 3 years of changing my environment, my situation and my habits had paid off. My cholesterol level returned to normal. It hasn’t gone up since then. I had been cooking leaner meats. I’m still surprised how much fat still drains from them. I rarely use oil now to cook. The only time I use it is when I’m frying up meatballs, breaded chicken or tempura shrimp. I’ve gradually added pork again to my diet. I’m trying to get fish in my meals too, but they seem to always be frozen or home-grown. Fresh fish is hard to come by. Even if I go to a fresh market, the prices are so high. I can’t fish here in North Carolina. There is some law about dumped waste in sewers ending up in the lakes and rivers, including man-made bodies of water. I’m not going to get into that. I’m done and over dealing with that shenanigan. I learned from very young that people are just going to do what they’re going to do regardless – no consideration for the environment or others for that matter.

Even good and fresh vegetables are hard to come by too. The label “organic” is senseless. What was it before? Can’t you just call tomatoes the way they are? I don’t have the luxury at the moment to have my own garden. Starting my life again from scratch at 30 is not as easy as it was after 4 years of college. Without the right resources, not only does your lifestyle suffer, your health does too.

When I started working during the second shift, everything ran smoothly from there. I would take a decent breakfast, take a snack, eat lunch, take another snack and then, have dinner. Then I came across a book written by Dr. Dean Ornish; ‘Eat More, Weigh Less, Harper Collins Publishers, 1993.’ I read through the whole book and found there were still bad habits I needed to change. I needed to cut down on the rice and the eggs. Having the same thing for breakfast every consecutive morning isn’t healthy as well. I needed variety. I am picky about my milk, which needs to be pasteurized and stay whole; and I like my drinking water to be at pH7.

I felt good right after reading that book. I know what I needed to change. I began the Life Choice Program on April 4, 2011. My weight has stayed the same since then. I walk regularly now – walking to the bus stop to drop my daughter off to school and later walk to the bus stop to head off to work. I have noticed good changes too. My face no longer suffers from pimples and blackheads. My skin is a lot hydrated than it used to be. 

Now unemployed, the summer has come, my depression has loomed over my head. To make matters worse, my mother sends me this package of books and media about Food Lovers FatLoss System. This motivational speaker from Aetna, who also happens to have the same name as a football player, guarantees you to lose weight in 21 days and detoxify your body thin in 6 days. A self-acclaimed entrepreneur who began this "system" to the Black American community; or so I read.

According to Dr. Ornish, losing weight too fast isn’t good for your body. As a matter of fact, it does more harm than good. I can’t tell you the results of my weight since I started Dr. Ornish’s health program. It's painfully obvious, I just started. His method is not for me to lose weight immediately. His focus is to change the way I eat my meals, which I have. It's only been 14 months. His research indicated that the women who chose to lose weight from their obese size at a dangerously fast rate, are most likely to suffer from a coronary disease or failure. I'd like to point out three things:

One, I'm not obese. Two, my BMI is normal. Three, I was out of shape. The term "was" is mum. I haven't exercised regularly since the military and Cisco. All that energy has been stored like Winnie the Pooh. I do not want to suffer from a coronary disease either. Walking is all I do now. It's going to be a while.

As much as I love my mother, her views about me are not anyone could choose to admire. She never thought me once as a beautiful person. When I was growing up, she would pick on me for being like Ichabod Crane, having the teeth of Bugs Bunny, a giraffe for a neck and a face of a witch. Now, she calls me a walrus. I don’t understand how this name-calling is going to make me feel any better.

I don’t love food like a food lover. I eat to live. I frown every time food is wasted. It can’t be helped. I don’t want to be sick from eating too much. I don’t intend my daughter to pick up any bad habits, which I have already broken. Apparently, discussing this health issue with my husband upsets him.

I never intended anyone to be upset with me. I just want my life to make sense. I already have enough on my hands. I don’t need any more problems added to my already complicated life.

Just let me be.